Growing your own family is exciting, but it can be exhausting with a small age gap between your children. Having a newborn baby to care for at the same time can be overwhelming at first. But with the help of your friends and family, you'll soon be taking it in your stride and have plenty of great times and a bond that you is irreplaceable.
Take a look at these tips for family life with two children under two:
1.Remember that your toddler is still a baby.
Juggling your children's needs and priorities can be difficult in the early days of parenting two under two. It's good to remember that your toddler may need help adjusting to life in a larger family. Some parents wait to bring their baby home since it ensures that their toddler is in a familiar environment. At the same time, others prefer to introduce them at the birthing center or hospital. Depending on how your toddler takes to the new baby, at times it may feel like they are acting out. It is important to remember that they do not quite understand their emotions yet and it wont last forever! If you think they are acting out of character, try to put aside 15 minutes of you and toddler time whilst the baby naps, it will do wonders for you both.
2.Make an agreement with your older child.
You may need to respond to your newborn first, for example, if they need a nappy change or feeding. When everyone's attention is focused on the new baby, your toddler may feel left out. Ensure you talk to your older child about their new exciting role as big brother or sister and what an amazing job they're doing. Make them feel involved and let them know that they should be excited too. Sometimes saying things like ‘Aw how lovely is YOUR baby’ can make them feel really involved in the process, even if you feel they do not understand just yet.
3.Involve your toddler while taking care of your baby.
Try to include your toddler in the care of your baby if you can. They might help you out with nappy changes by handing you the wet wipes. Moreover, your little ones may enjoy role-playing by changing a nappy on their favorite teddy simultaneously as you change the baby. This will be fun and exciting for the toddler whilst you are all bonding too. Try to see yourself as a little team rather than creating two separate journeys for yourself.
4.Be prepared with stories and snacks.
You might need to pre-prepare activities and snacks to help keep your toddler occupied while you feed your baby in the early days. It's true if you are breastfeeding your new baby for long periods. I found books and puzzles helped me keep bonding with my toddler whilst feeding my newborn. Keep them at arms reach to always stay prepared.
5.Meeting the needs of two children.
Sometimes both of your little ones want your attention at the same time. You can't be everywhere or do everything at once. Deal with the greatest need first and do what you can at the time. It can be hard for you as a parent to hear one baby cry when tending to the other but always remember, you are only human. Talk to the crying child and let them know you will be right with them. Most importantly, dont beat yourself up! The crying is temporary.
6.Never hesitate to ask for help.
Ask for assistance or help if you need it and take up any offers of support. Whether it's your mum, partner, neighbor, or friends, there is someone who you can talk to and ask to help you out. Although people do not speak about it enough freely. If you ask you will find many mums of two can relate and offer kind words on the struggle. Never struggle in silence, you are not alone mumma!
7.Going out and about with two.
If you have an active toddler, it can be fun to get out and do toddler activities. Going to their usual groups and socializing will help give them a sense of the world. Baby wearing is my top tip! This way you can play with the toddler whilst getting in those cuddles with your baby! You will surprise yourself on how much you can get done with two babies, despite what some may tell you!
8. Mum Guilt
This is so real and raw and is in no way spoken about enough but just know that nearly every mumma is feeling it in someway. Talk to anyone you can about it, you will be surprised on how much others will be happy to vent about it too! Mum guilt always lingers but it calms down once your babies start bonding at about 6 months old and all of a sudden you will be regretting spending so much time worrying!
When you wonder why you ever had your children so close together, don't forget to step back and focus on the positive. Seeing them take care of each other can be wonderful. Learning how to handle it is something you do as you go.
There are many stages to being and becoming a mum. But growing alongside your children is one of the best parts. Enjoy it.
You have got this mumma! Lots of love x
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